Fernando Marcial

Everyone's relationship with their parents is different. I know this because I've never heard of someone who shares a similar relationship as the one I have with my father.

The time I have spent with my dad has been defined by a few moments and can summarize a decade of my life during which I lived with him and my brother. I remember always getting stuck doing my homework, and my dad would always tell me three words: "Don't worry Papa", always with a smile on his face. The more you look into his face the more you can't tell whether he is an old soul or rather young. The more time I spent out of conversation and instead listening to how he and my brother communicated, the more a realization formed. My dad is a child.

This characteristic isn't necessarily bad, it's simply rather strange. Most children are usually defined by their parents. This is true of my brother who follows exactly in my dad's footsteps and never takes anything seriously until the last minute. However, I do not fall into the seriousness of my mother nor the obnoxiousness of my father, so I can watch so closely and realize all the traits I wish I held.

I remember getting kicked out of my mother's house 2 years ago, and being forced to move in with my father. His lifestyle portrays two things: his opportunities and effort. Although I love my father, I often condemn his lifestyle because he could always do more. He could be saving more money, eating healthier, and re-aligning his values with his goal of becoming a semi-truck driver. I could not be more wrong about my father.

I often dislike people because they have something I cannot have. I never expected my father to be one of those people, as my values usually center around academic excellence and financial success.

The more I thought about it, the more envy for my brother and father grew.

That same day I was kicked out, my father told me something I will never forget: "Tomorrow's worries are for tomorrow, today's are for today". Granted, he had obtained this from a random Christian Facebook page and it was in Spanish, nonetheless, it made me think.

At first, I wanted to scoff and argue. How could you not worry about tomorrow? We are taught to plan so who is he to tell me how to live when I already know how the world is easier to grasp when you can plan ahead of time?

He was humbling me.

Throughout my childhood, he would always say how I thought I understood the world but I didn't and still hold no clue. I believed I could understand just how much about the world I wasn't aware of and the parts I could understand. Turns out I don't know anything. Morals and principles are a matter of environment, I could not live by a set list of rules and secure a spot in a successful life.

I hate hearing about different paths to success because I always assumed it was some lie we were told so we wouldn't feel disappointed for not making it into good colleges or career paths. Seeing how my dad lived and thought made me realize everyone was right.

Here was my father, Fernando Marcial. The same person who raised me was so okay with everything. He lives poorly in a garage, with a wife in another country, supporting himself on a low wage. Yet every day he continues to have time to text me "Good morning" followed by a large sum of gifs with animated hearts. Yet every time he visits me he continues to hold the biggest smile anyone could ever have, give the best hugs, and provide consistent comfort. If my father has taught me everything I need to know to be okay with the outcome of life, then I know someday I will reach the same conclusion he figured out in his lifetime. I want to be all right, I want to be happy, I want low expectations, and secretly, I want to be just like my father, Fernando Marcial.